Sleepy valentine

I popped in on the Alz center on Valentine’s Day. Two weeks had passed since I had last seen Mom – partly because Patrick and I had been out of town. I realized as I pulled into the parking lot that I had never received a mailing about the annual Valentine’s Day lunch. The lot was pretty full, and I wondered if I had missed the event. The receptionist greeted me with an artificial rose and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I thanked her and asked if there had been a lunch. Not this year, she said. There is new management – could that be why? I wasn’t really sad about it because Mom hasn’t seemed to enjoy these lunches all that much. Lots of extra noise and extra people don’t typically sit well with her anymore. If she doesn’t enjoy them, I don’t enjoy them. The receptionist said there was a monthly birthday party planned for the next day, with cake, so that residents would be getting a treat soon.

Mom was sound asleep on a couch in the program area. I sat on a chair next to her and watched her for a bit. She didn’t show signs of waking. She had on a cute assortment of clothes – her turquoise fleece pajama pants, a pink T-shirt and a brown button-down shirt. She looked good and, of course, relaxed. I stopped at the nurses’ desk and asked Mom’s nurse how Mom has been lately. All fine. No problems and no significant changes. Not surprising, since I had received no calls. But it was good to be reassured. “I heard some really loud singing recently and when I looked to see who it was, it was Bonnie,” she said. That sounded good to me. Loud singing is typically done by a happy person, I reasoned.

When I was visiting with Patrick’s family, my sister-in-law bought some small Valentine’s Day gifts for her daughter – some shower gel and a bracelet. I remember when Mom used to do the same kind of thing – just offer a little something to observe the day. And I recalled a card I got her when I lived in Athens years ago – it featured a black-and-white photo of a woman in a black dress with a long string of pearls that she was holding in a way that made the shape of a heart. I really liked that card, and sent it to Mom as a valentine. I probably thought I was being cool and unconventional. But really, I was just sending my mom a card. I probably didn’t say in it that I loved her, because we didn’t exchange those words much at all. But I hope it was obvious that I did love and cherish her.


2 comments so far

  1. Jenniferjayhawk on

    Hi Emily,
    I had to laugh when I was visiting my Mom most of the residents couldn’t carry on a conversation but they could all remember the words to Patriotic songs played by the pianist.

  2. momsbrain on

    Jennifer, that is true for Mom, too. She articulates very few actual sentences, but she can still retrieve song lyrics and knows the melodies. The brain is a mysterious place…

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