No moping this Mother’s Day

The past several Mother’s Days sort of bummed me out. I approached the day this year with a better attitude. I visited Mom at the Alz center for a Mother’s Day tea the center hosts each year. Mr. R was with Mom today, so when I got there, the three of us just took a walk, sat for awhile, and then got up and walked again. I held one of Mom’s hands and Mr. R held the other. “I like this,” Mom said. “I really love this.” She was feeling the love, and that was good. I settled them on a couch and then got them some snacks from the dining room. Lots of people were eating in there, and I figured the action might make Mom restless. When I got back with the snacks, Mom had hoisted her legs onto Mr. R’s legs. She was at home, very comfortable. She had a few cubes of cheese and little pastries. Mr. R took a pastry, too. They both had some juice. I didn’t stay too long. When I left, I kissed Mom goodbye. I’ve collected some pictures of Mom as Mom to celebrate her life today.

Mom as a young mother, holding me. Jeff is on the left and Laura is on the right. This was in North Dakota. I was born on an Air Force base there. This must be late 1965.

Mom made me a birthday cake. I am guessing, based on where we lived, that this was in 1997, meaning I was turning 32. Mom liked to maintain these gestures - the cake is in a square baking pan with an assortment of candles. Nothing fancy, but still special and just for me.

This is a picture from our trip to Seattle to visit Jeff and Tom before they moved to the East Coast. Hmm, let's see. Summer of 2003? 2004? Jeff is at left, in the corner, then Tom, then my sister Laura, then me, then Mom. Patrick is in the front. I think this must be at the top of the Space Needle. This trip gave us all an indication that something might be wrong with Mom. She was a little off - she didn't seem able to follow our conversations. We had a lot of laughs, though.

Me and Mom today at the Alz center. I tried three times, but could not convince her to look at the camera. You can see I am wearing a corsage - the center gave all female family members corsages today in celebration of the day. "I'm not a mother," I said. "Doesn't matter," the activities director said.

12 comments so far

  1. JenniferJayhawk on


    I LOVE the photos! Thanks so much for sharing. What a beautiful family. The first picture in black and white is mesmerizing. It is interesting to go back and look at what our Mom’s “used” to look like. I saw a video a while back of my Mom around 20 years ago. It was well mesmerizing. Your sister’s expression and the purse slung over her shoulder is very cute.

  2. Gemma on

    Lovely photos of days to remember. Aren’t we lucky to have this technology that allows us to look back? My family watched home movies that we finally transferred to DVD. What a blessing to have those images — of ourselves and of others who are no longer with us. Happy Mother’s Day! (I agree with the activities director.)

  3. Chris on

    Nice pics emily. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of you, Jeff and Laura (and Bonnie, of course), that young. I’m glad you had a good day with your mom. Can’t wait to see you soon!

  4. Sherri on

    What great photos!

  5. momsbrain on

    Jennifer: Thank you! I love looking at the old black-and-white photos of my family. I hope you were spoiled yesterday!

    Gemma: I am so glad I bought a printer that scans a year or so ago. It has come in really handy. I hope YOU had a good Mother’s Day!

    Chris: I hadn’t thought of the fact that you wouldn’t have seen our baby pictures. Looking VERY forward to seeing you, too! I forgot to call you back yesterday…

    Sherri: Hi, and thanks! Happy belated Mother’s Day to you!

  6. Laura on

    I love the photos! I wish I could have been there with you and Mom yesterday at the Mother’s tea.

  7. momsbrain on

    Laura: I’m glad you like the photos. I have so many to go through of Mom’s photos. I wanted to put at least one in about her grandmother role but I don’t have many of those. I figure she must have tons. I hope you had a good Mother’s Day!

  8. Jeff on

    HI Em – I also love the photos. Yes, Seattle Space Needle in summer of 2003, because we moved to NYC in October ’03. It must be a timer photo – that’s why I’m barely in the pic…? The REALLY interesting thing to me about the oldest photo is that Mom looks like a combination of you and Laura. I think we’ve always thought that Laura looked like Mom and you looked like Dad, but here I see a tremendous resemblance to you. Plus, I LOVE how happy your expression is, even as an infant. And Mom’s spanish heritage is very evident in that picture. Can you bring me a copy of that to BHI?

  9. momsbrain on

    Hi, Jeff: I think Lily might have taken that picture, because she was on that trip. Thank you for clarifying the year. I thought probably 2003, but just wasn’t positive. Lots of people think I look like Mom but I agree with your description of how we have thought about resemblances in the family. And I definitely have some of Dad’s features. An aide at the Alz center called me Mom’s twin the other day. I will scan a copy of that old picture. Feel free to remind me about it… 🙂

  10. patwhite67 on

    Emily, Thank you so very much for this update on your mom and the precious photos. I am thinking of you often. Pat

  11. JudyDearing on

    Beautiful mother and daughter – and family! I had wondered if Mr. R was still around with your mom.

  12. momsbrain on

    Pat: Belatedly, thank you for thinking of me!

    Judy: Thank you! And yes, Mr. R is around. There was a little break for awhile, but now they seem to be connected again.

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