4th of July

For many years, I accompanied Mom to a July 4th day-long party in Upper Arlington. We would watch the morning parade and then lounge in the yard with friends and eat and drink. The hosts were a couple that Mom first knew as a bridge-playing connection, I believe. When I was a young kid, Mom played bridge frequently at the Clintonville Bridge Club, and several of her longtime friends were people she met there. Many of them also attended this party. I don’t know how many of these Independence Day gatherings I attended, but I’d guess at least 8 or 10. When I was in high school, I marched in the parade with my school’s marching band and then met up with Mom at the party. After I left for college and then lived out of town, I might still go to this party if I happened to be in Columbus on the 4th. Eventually, the hosts stopped having this party, and instead took advantage of the holiday to stay at their Lake Erie vacation home. But they held it again this year so their grandchildren could experience the parade and party. I wasn’t invited or not invited. I knew it was happening but I did not attend. If I had asked if I could attend, I suspect I would have been welcome. But it wouldn’t feel right without Mom anyhow.

I have visited Mom once since I last posted in this blog. It was a fairly typical before-lunch visit. Mr. R was nearby. I plucked hairs from Mom’s chin. We chatted a little bit. Mom did not seem to be sure of my name.

I’m not sure what’s going on. I think I am going through a phase of some sort. I’m not writing much. But I am thinking about Mom daily, maybe even hourly.

I got a call awhile back that the attempt to lower her Zoloft dose didn’t really work. Mom was anxious and pacing a lot at the Alz center. So a nurse called to tell me Mom would go back to the higher dose. I am glad they didn’t allow her to suffer for long with the anxiety. Mom has been on Zoloft for so long that I imagine it is a very important part of maintaining her mood at this point. Not that I really know anything about pharmacology. But I just wasn’t surprised that her mood responded quickly, in a negative way, to a lower dose.

It’s a three-day weekend. I will be visiting Mom tomorrow.


2 comments so far

  1. Jennifer Jayhawk on

    Hey Emily,

    This is definitely a tough stage in our lives. My hair has been falling out for the past two years. I’m thankful I have a few hairs left.

    It is interesting. It’s like your body/mind can just do so much caregiving. I went back to my Mom’s for only a week (as opposed to my usual 3 weeks). I will be back soon I’m sure. I have my in laws coming for two weeks. So I needed to get back.

    You are my Hero in the “caring for an elder parent”.

    Thank you for all you do and write,


  2. momsbrain on

    Hi, Jennifer-
    You are too nice to me… thank you for your kind words.

    Your mom and then in-laws. You are busy! Thanks so much for your comment.

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