The new hottie

I visited Mom today before lunch. I returned the clothes I had washed to her closet, where I saw she seemed to have more pants than on past days. A comfort to me. I went straight to her room to do this when I arrived because she was sitting in a circle with a group, bouncing around a beach ball with an activities staffer. Music was playing, and Mom was clapping her hands. She looked very content.

I then walked toward the circle, and Mom spotted me out of the corner of her eye. She got up and walked toward me, saying, “Emily, Emily.” She hugged me. And then she went back to her chair, and I sat behind her, just outside the circle. A few staffers and volunteers said Mom had been dancing earlier. The activities director also said Mom had been among a group of residents who had gone to the daycare center the day before to “babysit.” And while the activities director tried to encourage kids to lie still and take a nap, Mom confessed that she had told the kids they could talk and read books. I thought that was funny. Kind of like a grandma, letting the kids get away with something a parent might discourage. It didn’t seem to bother the activities director that Mom had done that.

After the activity ended, Mom started talking about a man across the way wearing blue. She was pointing him out to me, but I wasn’t sure what she was trying to say. She walked toward him, and I just watched her. She put her hand on his shoulder. He just looked at her and didn’t say anything. And Mom walked away from him, toward me. “He doesn’t like me,” she said. I have noticed this man. He appears to be fairly young for an Alzheimer’s patient. He wears jeans and plaid shirts a lot of the time, and is a resident who, I guess you could say, could “pass” as a visitor based on his current appearance. Once, he and Mom shared a table at lunch, but he didn’t say anything. I think I even asked his name to see if I could find his tray, and he just looked at me and did not respond.

Today, Mom seemed to have him on her mind. She would keep an eye out for him. And she said several times that he does not like her. I said he might be shy, or having a bad day. Or that maybe he is playing hard to get, which made Mom laugh. A little later, a visitor brought him some McDonald’s food. I told Mom that maybe he was just waiting for his family member. “I don’t know why he doesn’t like me,” she said. I was concerned that she was a little obsessed.

We had moved to a table and were waiting for lunch to arrive when Mom said, “I hope I don’t have to get pee pee.” I suggested she go to the bathroom, and we started walking toward her room. I was ahead of her, and when I got to the door of her room, I looked back to see Mom approaching another gentleman who was sitting alone on a couch. They were holding hands. She was saying, “I should go now,” and he was saying, “You don’t have to go anywhere.” He stood up and hugged her, and planted two substantial kisses on her lips. “That was nice,” she said, and then she walked toward me. It appears that Mom is enjoying attention from men these days.

After she peed, we returned to the table, and her tray arrived. I noticed there was a piece of fried fish on her plate, and wild rice. I had told the kitchen when Mom moved in that she doesn’t like fish. But she took a big bite and didn’t seem to mind it at all. I told her it looked good – that I like fried food. She was concerned that she wouldn’t like the rice, but she took a bite and liked it, too. She pointed to her apple pie and said, “I like that.” I kissed her goodbye and said I’d be back in a few days.

On the way out, I chatted with a few staff members. I told the activities director that Mom seemed very interested in the new younger male resident. “I hope she doesn’t pester him,” I said. The activities director said that he will let her know if she’s bothering him. I hope he lets Mom down easy if he does do that. “He’s the new hottie,” she said.

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7 comments so far

  1. Sherri on

    For a while there, I was trying to decide if your Mom had become the “hottie” or if it was, in fact, this new “younger man” :-). Sounds like your Mom has met some companions, and… the “hottie” must not mind her attention too much since he ate lunch with her! It sounds like she’s in a great mood lately.

  2. jeff on

    I think this is so interesting. I’ll be curious to see what happens. I like the idea of a romance.

  3. momsbrain on

    Sherri – I hope Mom is more of a hottie when I finally get her hair cut. She is looking a little straggly right now. 🙂 She is in a good mood, and seems to be doing a lot of dancing, so I think this is a pleasurable time for her.

    Jeff – I have certainly heard that romances break out with some frequency among Alz patients, so it would not be a surprise if that did happen. I see some residents sit together and hold hands and stuff like that, and it is really nice to see them find cozy companionship.

  4. foodhoe on

    awww, how sweet! I just started touring local assisted living facilities this year… it makes me glad to read about your mom’s experiences, especially now that she’s settled in.

  5. momsbrain on

    Thanks for visiting, Foodhoe, and good luck to you in your facility pursuit!

  6. plettahar on

    love your comment “romances break out” — rather like rashes. 🙂 sounds like your mom is kicking up the heels a bit, eating fish, kissing men, lusting after others… rock it, Bonnie!

  7. momsbrain on

    Bonnie is rocking it more and more every time I see her!


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