I dreamed a dream

I had a dream last night that Mom was kicked out of the Alzheimer center and sent back to Whetstone. I don’t remember many details – such as why the change occurred – but I recall a lingering feeling, while I was in the midst of the dream, of general discomfort, a feeling that lingered even after I woke up, for a little while. Because, you know, that turn of events would actually be a nightmare. I never like it when I wake from a dream and can’t tell for a moment what is real and what my mind created overnight. I felt a strong sense of relief when I realized it was only a dream.

I haven’t seen Mom in a week. It just hasn’t fit into my schedule. I feel some guilt, but I also feel like I have to just give myself a break about this. I am going to see her tomorrow. I plan to polish her fingernails after lunch. I’m curious about her laundry. I had said I would do it, but the last time I was there, the basket in her closet was empty. Fine. I don’t really know why I want to do it. I’ve been out of the Bonnie laundry business for a good year or so and there’s really no reason to go back. I certainly don’t miss it. And, naturally, I want to know if she remembers having a fight the other day with another resident.

Perhaps I dreamed about Whetstone because I have received mail and phone calls from the place. The first mailing that I assumed was a bill was actually a credit from Mom’s assisted living account. The second piece came more recently and was a bill for about $3,800 for the 15 nights Mom spent in the nursing home. Plus $2.49 for incidentals: a hairbrush, a package of disposable washcloths that they automatically supplied, and a pink plastic bin they put her toiletries in on the day she moved out. Whatever. I have also received two bills from the pharmacy the nursing home used for a total of about $1,100. Again, for 15 days of meds. That compares to the roughly $75 per month I spent on Mom’s meds at a regular pharmacy under her retirement insurance plan. No wonder Medicaid is in the shitter – nursing home costs are one thing, but that pharmacy charge is really criminal, I think. My answer to all that mail is: pending Medicaid application. You’ll just have to wait.

And speaking of that, the business manager for the nursing home left me a voice mail saying she wants to talk about the application. I liked her – she was helpful in preparing me for the Medicaid process. But I don’t know what she might want to talk about. I surely have zero control over the speed of the process. I have given the case worker everything she asked for, and my most recent correspondence with her was a question about how I should divvy up Mom’s available funds to pay Whetstone for Mom’s brief time there and the Alz center for time spent there before the application is approved. The business manager at the Alz center told me to ask the case worker for guidance on this. So far, she has not responded. I don’t really want to worry about the application, but knowing Whetstone has questions makes me uneasy. I figure they can just roll Mom’s assisted living credit over to the nursing home, and I would expect them to do so. Maybe I have to approve that. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow, when I call her back.

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