Mood swing

Today started out well enough. Decent night’s sleep. Fairly warm morning, less rain than I expected. Got a story finished up quickly. Uneventful meeting. And then I went to the bank.

I have been working with the same investment manager at Mom’s bank since the summer, getting the paperwork done to retrieve her money from annuities, IRAs, etc., and transferring it all to checking so I can pay her assisted living bills. It’s a Chase bank, and this manager moves from branch to branch, but I always go to the branch at Giant Eagle in Clintonville because that was Mom’s bank branch of choice. She became friendly with the staff there, and they were so nice to her as she became sick and probably asked confusing questions and needed guidance in writing out checks for cash. When I took over her banking, they were equally nice to me.

The paperwork was pretty simple. I continue to fret about these two outstanding investment accounts that Mom has with non-local companies. But I just have to assume they will give me her money when I produce a Power of Attorney. But anyhow, the Chase money is handled, her checking account will grow dramatically to cover a few months, and I have bought some more time until I have to begin the Medicaid application process. But while I was sitting there, I overheard a customer complain about the branch closing. All the Giant Eagle bank employees will move to the other Clintonville Chase bank in April. No big deal. No lost jobs. Giant Eagle is under construction, so I assume the bank’s move makes room for more grocery space. But it is Mom’s bank. And it will be gone.

And then my young investment manager friend finished everything up. And he asked how Mom is doing – a really nice thing to do. I try to keep it easy for people who ask because it is nice of them to ask. “She still knows me,” I said. “She’s in good spirits.” She likes where she lives, which is why I need to drain her bank account so she can continue living there, I explained. “Thanks for asking.”

And then I cried in the parking lot. Not a whole lot. It wasn’t a major gusher, just a little sadness. And it has evolved into general irritability and annoyance at every little thing now that I am back at work. I can’t wait for the day to end so I can go to an exercise class that is so intense I can’t think for an hour, boil my skin in a really hot shower, and then veg in front of the TV until I fall asleep. Not much to aspire to, but it comforts me to know that that’s as complicated as my evening will be.

It’s just such a disappointing thing to do, spending all of Mom’s money in this way. She was lucky to have enough money to cover 18 months or so of assisted living. But it’s a shitty way to spend your money, just like Alzheimer’s is a shitty way to end a life.

1 comment so far

  1. Karin on

    I read all your entries, and keep you in my thoughts as you struggle through this. It is definitely upsetting to see all the money your mom worked so hard for go so fast, and to such an unrewarding end. You are taking good care of her, and it sounds like you’re doing your best to take care of yourself too, which is soo important.

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